5 Witty Comebacks from The Cast of Frasier

5 Witty Comebacks from The Cast of Frasier

Frasier, a spin-off from Cheers starring Kelsey Grammar is heralded as the smartest comedy on television of all time. Its quick wit and clever humor helped Frasier amass 37 Emmy wins, which set a record for scripted TV shows until Game of Thrones broke the record last week at the 68th Primetime Emmy Awards. Now more than 20 years later, the show still has a place in my heart. Being a city girl who loves wine, I've sacrificed some cable channels over the years so I was delighted to find that Frasier now airs on COZI TV every night from 7-9pm.

If you're anything like the average American TV enthusiast, you adore sharing opinions with friends and co-workers about serious and frivolous topics. Occasionally there are moments during these chat sessions when someone tries to make a more poignant point than the one you just made. Left with the conundrum of what to say next, we must turn to our inner Frasier (or Niles) to offer the perfect response. To help you with your next difficult scenario, I have compiled a list of the best witty responses from our good friends from Seattle to provide you with inspiration for when the conversation gets rough!

Season 9, Episode 7: Bla-zy Boy

Martin accidentally spills oil on the carpet and Frasier accuses him of subconsciously doing it on purpose.

Martin: For the last time this was not malicious, it was an accident.

Frasier: I don’t think you know the difference between the two!

Martin: Yes I do! That was accident, this is malicious


Season 1, Episode 5 - Here’s Looking At You

A radio caller asks Frasier for some advice but gets side tracked expressing his pet peeve about grammar.


Radio Caller (Jeff Daniels): I hate it when intellectual pin heads with superiority complexes nitpick your grammar when you come to them for help, that’s what I got a problem with!

Frasier: I think what he means is ‘that is a thing with which he has a problem’.


Season 11, Episode 15: Caught In The Act

Frasier begins sleeping with popular kid entertainer Nanny G.

Frasier: If I could help her make a new beginning, wouldn’t it be heartless of me to deny myself to her?

Niles: Did you say something? Your penis was talking so loud I couldn't hear!"

Season 3, Episode 17: High Crane Drifter

Frasier kicks a rude customer out of Cafe Nervosa and then regrets it. After the patron says he is going to sue Frasier, Niles steps in.

Niles: Oh for God sake don’t waste your breath on this hairy knuckle, dragon mouth breathing troglodyte who’s probably the only male in existence that suffers from penis envy!! 

Season 6, Episode 3: Dial M For Martin

Martin goes to stay with Niles for a short time since Frasier is out of work.

Niles: I’m not interrupting am I?

Roz: Yeah Niles. We just eloped; I’m your new mom.

Niles: Well I’ll be a son of a b*tch.